Aliens Visited My Next Door Neighbor - says Vladimir Putin!
Illegal Aliens Living With Sarah Palin. Dateline: Alaskan Outback
It appears to several anonymous witnesses, and one not so anonymous person, that Sarah Palin has been spotted in the hinterlands consorting with illegal aliens. Maybe consorting is not the right word. She was seen sitting around a campfire after a day of hunting with what have been identified as illegal aliens. Several witnesses claimed the aliens were what have been termed, ‘Grays,' for some unknown reason, and are also known as 'wispies,' 'round-eyes' and 'creepies.'
The Hunting Party
Yours Truly.
'Mrs. Palin appeared to be getting along great with the aliens, passing around a bottle of Jack Daniels, and recounting her exploits earlier in the day.' Claims Mr. Putin. Mrs. Palin was using one of the alien guns, and felled a moose with a single blast from the weapon’s laser. Mrs. Palin could be overheard saying, “Gosh, it made a nice clean hole all the way thru it.” And “Holy Mackeral, I’d love to have one of these babies.”
The moose was quickly drained of all of its blood, and its testicles were removed. “These are for Sarah,” one of the aliens was quoted as saying.
When asked how he could have witnessed these events all the way from Russia. Mr. Putin replied, "I have, what you call, an out house, way, way, way out toward back of property, and pretty good pair of Swiss binoculars. You would be amazed at what can you see of Mrs. Palin's activities from here." Putin later added, "Am starting to lose interest in Crimea, after all, is just little tiny peninsula. Who care about little, tiny peninsula? What give I shit about tiny Crimean access to baltic cesspool? Nyetski. Is slang for nyet. You get it? Nyetski? Dah? Hah? Hah-hah-hah-hah. You like Vodka? We drink, then ride horse together to outhouse. Nyet?"